A Long Arduous Journey to Self-Discovery and a Career Helping Others
Lauren Brooke-Yattaw, MS, LMHC-A, Adult Outpatient Services Clinician at Community Care Alliance
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Lauren had a rough childhood with a father who abused drugs and alcohol. He eventually became homeless. She and her mom and sister spent a lot of nights sleeping in the car in a train station parking lot to escape the violence in the household. Many events of that time are too disturbing to even put into words.
“I became angry and rebellious and was often told I was lot like my Dad.” Lauren believed she was destined to end up like her father.
But she didn't. Lauren has two Master’s degrees. She persisted despite the odds—which were many. Her Dad died when she was a senior at RISD and she still graduated on time—but was heavily using alcohol and drugs.
“One day I realized I could be dead before turning 30 if I don’t stop drinking.” That was the beginning of her long, arduous journey of finding well-being.
Over the years, Lauren suffered from long-term, severe anxiety and depression…in and out of the hospital for her mental health. When she went through a medical issue in 2019, her mental health took a deep dive.
“That was when I started having the absolute worst depression and anxiety I've ever had in my entire life. I will tell you that hell is not a place you go after you die. Hell is right here on Earth, in this body. I felt like the biggest failure on the planet, my head felt like it was on fire about to explode, and I couldn’t be present for my kid in the way I wanted to be.”
Despite having a very supportive husband and friends, Lauren says she felt like such a burden that some days she hoped she just wouldn’t wake up. She finally asked to be brought to the hospital.
This time, Lauren finally found the help she needed when a doctor gave her a diagnosis of PTSD.
“That doctor saved my life.” Lauren repeats… “And when I tell you, that doctor saved my life- For the first time in my life, I was diagnosed with PTSD. It took 47 years for someone to get it right. You go through life knowing what you’ve been through, but you minimize the effects that these experiences have on a person over time.”
Lauren’s story illustrates the complexity of healing diseases of the mind and the importance of access to the right treatment. In so many ways treatment for these issues is similar to medical treatments that may follow a grueling path of getting the right diagnosis and requires a team of specialists to activate a cure. Lauren was relieved when she realized that her emotional state was not because she was “inherently flawed,” but because she had endured what she had. Her perspective about herself was shifted.
She says, “When you understand it from a trauma informed perspective, you start to realize that you're not destined to suffer for an entire lifetime. There are ways around this when you start to understand why. How the nature of trauma affects a child's developing brain, how adverse childhood experiences affect mortality rates over a person's lifetime—and the immune system and all that stuff. When you start to put it into perspective, you can begin a more long-term journey.”
At this point, Lauren had been 24 years sober. During her last stay at Butler, she was told by people in group who were just beginning their recovery from substance use that she would make a good counselor. Lauren already had an Art degree and a Master’s in Education, but her peers inspired her to help others navigate the mental health system. She signed up for the Parent Support Network Dual Certified Peer Recovery Specialist/Community Health Worker training and also earned the Johnson & Wales Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master’s degree.
“I’m loving it – working in the Adult Outpatient Services. Lauren Brooke-Yattaw, MS, LMHC-A is a Clinician at Community Care Alliance in Adult Outpatient Services where she has the opportunity to add clinical experience helping people “I love it. I feel like I’m giving back here. It’s really important to share these stories.”