 Christopher Lloyd, CPRS Peer Specialist for CCBHC Mobile Crisis Team & IOP |
Therefore, Proceed without Apologies
Interview with Colleen Joubert
Director of Communications & Development
Christopher Lloyd, Peer Recovery Specialist with Community Care Alliance has almost 5 years sobriety from heroin, alcohol and other substances. Right off the bat he tells me…“I am a patient of MOUD that utilizes Methadone.”
MOUD is Medication for Opioid Use Dependency, and Chris is unapologetic about being a Methadone patient. He is a survivor using every tool he has available to live with dignity and respect, which includes speaking out by telling his story.
“I am a survivor of overdose both in the sense that I survived my own, and I survived the trauma of losing my father to an overdose as well. I am a survivor of trauma as it relates to sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. I am in recovery regarding my mental health from a panic disorder, depression, and ADHD.”
It’s a lot to recover from, and Chris made the effort many times since the age of sixteen, attending treatment programs in Florida before he was ready to change his life. He names each of these programs. He talks about the readiness of a person to proceed in recovery, and the importance of being there to help someone at that moment.
The influence behind his own readiness was his overdose… his mother… and his son. The confluence of family and circumstances came together like a perfect storm to create that moment when he knew he had to come through his addiction on the other side—alive.
We all know someone facing addiction. Many of us can relate to the depths of despair a mother, father, brother, sister, child, friend can encounter when experiencing this terrible disease by association. Chris talks about his mother’s heartbreak after his overdose.
“It was when she described herself—and it was a really big hit to my soul— ‘the only way that I could learn to be okay was to accept your death prematurely.’”
In his life, Chris had a very clear example of two outcomes. One in which his mother never relapsed, but his father did. “My parents actually met in Alcoholics Anonymous back in the 80s. My mom has more sobriety time than I am old because she never had to go through a relapse. My dad, unfortunately passed away from an overdose in 2012. So, I’ve seen the dichotomy of recovery, where I see there’s a very clear and present dynamic in front of me—whether or not I go the right way or the wrong way, so to speak. My mom is a wonderful, amazing example. If it wasn’t for her never giving up on me, I wouldn’t be here.”
“So, part of recovery was getting back into my son’s life. Or not just back into it, but into his life for the first time. And that involved me coming to Rhode Island. So that way I could try to start mending any of the damage I did to him from my past.”
Chris took on any work he could to find a way to be here for his son, finally making his way into the recovery community at Parent Support Network where he received his certification. He says they don’t have peers working in behavioral health in Florida, which shows that Rhode Island is advanced in this field.
My takeaway as I listen to Chris is that he is sincere, intelligent, and hardworking. His role has him on the Mobile Crisis Team and in the Intensive Outpatient Program. He also works at the local pop-up shelters. Christopher Lloyd is driven by his mission to reduce stigma because he’s living the recovered life with all its attendant foibles. He has a lot to offer in connection to his experience that can make a difference.
We talk about how addiction treatment has evolved from a strict sense of sobriety to more inclusive-minded approach where recovery is different for different people. Taking on the words of wisdom passed on by a colleague and a mentor, Chris says. “It’s that you need to be nonjudgmental. Recovery can come from all walks of life, and we’re all just trying to come together in an equitable way that is best.”
“A big takeaway that I’ve taken from Mental Health Awareness Month is that shame is a big roadblock for a lot of people as it applies to everything; and shame and stigma are tied together. Stigma is what we need to tamp down with more education and more openness.”
“Shame is what keeps people from being honest about a suicide ideation, or even an attempt, or, keeps them from being able to be open about their sexual abuse or their physical abuse. And I can completely relate to that as a victim myself. There’s the shame of being on medications, or even wanting, or ever trying medications like methadone or buprenorphine, or any number of things.”
Chris doesn’t hide that Methadone is part of his treatment.
“The opposite of addiction isn’t abstinence. It’s community. It’s the way that we are social human beings. We come from all walks of life, and all sorts of recovery. There’s no singular way. And that’s sort of what I was talking about, you know, being all inclusive. That’s a huge part of it. And I get that through my peer work. Yeah. The sense of community, of being part of a group of people going to meetings and stuff like that. That’s obviously another big part of peer work as well. So, I was able to take those elements and migrate it into where my recovery is now.”
Christopher Lloyd knows recovery firsthand, fully living it, without apology.